Sunday, January 29, 2012

Breaking the Silence...


Alrighty, I'm going to go there. Yep, I know. I really shouldn't. I should just keep my mouth shut and hope that everyone just learns one day on their own. If you read my previous posts, you know that I am all about positivity and being the change. I really think we all have the capability, the power, to change the world for the better. So, today, I am changing facebook. I know. It's a feat that may be even too grandiose for my meager blog post, but, hey, something is better than just complaining about it. I’d love to teach a course on it, but I don’t think it would draw the crowd that I imagine captivating in my mind.

So, what’s the issue worth blogging about when I haven’t posted in over a year? To sum it up, this message is direct toward those who seem to have no idea what sort of image they are portraying to the digital world with each horrid post (or like). Yes, I said horrid [insert screeching, knife-wielding-killer sound here]. As I read the posts in question, I cringe at what those who read it must think about the poster. Since these posters are on my “friend” list, it stands to reason that I do in fact know them personally, and they are good, decent people (would I friend anyone less?)…at least that’s how they portray themselves in person. Now, I’m not writing this post to judge others. I merely intend to educate those that haven’t thought about it before. Facebook is a political page (not that you are running for office, but if you are young, this could play a part in your future…you know…the documentation of every thought since 2004). You are marketing yourself.

The problem with facebook (or blogging ;D) is that we can say anything we want and never see or hear the repercussions. There are no consequences to our actual face on facebook. If you are on my friend list reading this blog post, you’re probably thinking, “I wonder if she is talking about me?” Probably not. Fortunately, it’s small crowd. However, I have devised a list by which you can check your facebook behavior for a variety of character fails. Please read with a sense of humor sprinkled throughout the entire list. The list isn’t meant to offend, but these are real comments pick up through random conversations since the dawn of facebook (changed a bit for humorous literary purposes):

1)   If your facebook post references illegal activity, you might give the impression that you engage in illegal activity. If you hope to have a job or the trust of friends and loved ones, this may throw a kink in the circle of trust.
2)   If your facebook post contains references that you think no one but your “friends” will understand, you realize that you have added 200+ friends and that they will all see it…not just the 3-6 that you intended. In a small town, this means that you’re 3-6 friends have interpreted the message for all the other friends by the comments they leave beneath the original post. The joke is no longer funny; it may just make you look silly or get you in trouble. And by silly, I mean that people are thinking “wtf” in their minds and not posting it on your page…but thinking it when they see you in person. How could I know this? Well, believe it or not, people talk in person about facebook and the accompanying posts, hence the knowledge behind this checklist. I’m an information gatherer. I can’t help it. The messages just stick. It’s up to me to make sense of the seemingly non-interconnected happenings.
3)   If your facebook post accuses others, you may give the impression that you are A) a female dog or B) the butt of a donkey (yep, I realize that my facebook post about facebook posts could have led to this assumption. I just didn’t know how else to get people to think about their posts. My apologies.) Even if the accused is wrong, there are very few circumstances where calling them out on facebook would do you any good. You may change your mind one day. It is too late if it’s on facebook. Never forgotten.
4)   If your facebook post accuses others of wrongdoing when you are clearly the wrong doer, you may give the impression that you are an idiot. I don’t even know how to sugarcoat this one. Likely, you may read this, and not get it. I am sorry. Even this blog can’t help. It’s not Obama’s, the cops, or aliens from another planet who are at fault, and the rest of facebook knows it…even if your post gets 40 likes, it just means you have 40 idiot friends. Again, my apologies. There is just no way to say it differently. But, I’m not judging here, I’m just educating on what kind of impression is being given. Perception is everything on facebook, and unfortunately, everyone perceives each post differently.
5)   If your facebook post is written with the intent to harm, defame, harass, taunt, or get revenge, you may give the impression that you harm, defame, harass, taunt, or get revenge on those that cross you. If this is what you are going for, great. If you would like to keep your friends (the ones you talk to in person), this is not a good idea. You’re facebook friends will keep you for a good conversation piece (seriously). You’re real friends may become busy all of a sudden.
6)   If your facebook post is screaming for attention, you may get attention…just not the kind you want. I think each person can change the world, but you are not going to change the way people think by posting crude pics or questionable comments. Most people just want to keep up on recent events, funny happenings, and other’s lives’ in general. This is not your avenue to get famous. Keep your clothes on, your sex behind closed doors, and anything raunchy off your page. Once it is out there, it is out there forever…somewhere. You may actually regret that post one day…like when your own children wonder what the heck you were thinking, or when a prospective employer doesn’t hire you, or when your blind date creeps on your facebook page to see what kind of person you are…
Alright, I could go on, but I’ll save them for later. Hopefully, the list above didn’t insight anger. In general, if you would say your post to your mom, dad, boss, or a teacher, you are probably posting in an acceptable manner. If, however, you have to question whether or not any of the parties listed would be offended or shocked, it’s probably not in your best interest.

You see, facebook is a political page. It’s a way to market yourself. If you made a poster of your facebook posts with your smiling mug dead center, would that be the poster you would want to hand to your mother? Your teacher? Your boyfriend/girlfriend? Your husband/wife/child? Your employer? What does your page say about you? Funny? Quirky? Kind? Considerate? Caring? Loyal? Or maybe pessimistic? Angry? Bias? Crabby? Unaware? Rude?

Yep, your face-to-face friends know who you truly are, and they don’t judge you (if you’re over 24ish…sorry youngin’s…just the way the brain is wired, but don’t worry…it’s an average). However, the 200+ friends that like to keep updated on your life that rarely hold a conversation with you in person are judging your character by your facebook posts. Each post tells them just a little bit more about you. If it’s not clear, it’s left to interpretation. If it is clear, are you sure that’s what you want to say? 

2 comments:

  1. I agree with you on most of your points, however... we all have to understand that there is a teeny-tiny part of people's lives that are actually shown on facebook.

    Also, some thoughts that are put facebook aren't relevant to a second cousin or a person you met once and don't ever see IRL. I disagree that you shouldn't put things like that on there. What irks me is that instead of talking about a post to the person that wrote it, people talk about it to others. I wish people were more honest and would write "WTF" if that's what they are feeling.

    Small towns are full of people that like to talk, and if they aren't honest (even on facebook) with those around them, that's THEIR problem. (You should do a blog post about that, Lisa!) :)

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  2. I completely agree. It is a teeny-tiny part. Unfortunately, that teeny-tiny part plays a huge part in how people are perceived if they don't have the opportunity to get to know you more personally. The written word can come across in whatever manner the reader decides to interpret it. I could make a full-time job out of talking to youth who post things that are perceived negatively. I'd actually enjoy that kind of job, really getting into good discussion about perceptions in a group discussion. To be honest, most of this blog post is meant for youth. Adults should be careful, too, but most of the posts that make my eyes bug out are the posts made by young people that just don't know the consequences behind facebook yet. People really do creep on facebook before hiring. If I were a business owner, you represent me every time you post whether I like it or not. If people don't like someone's perceived profile, it reflects on me (if I owned a business with employees).

    I'm not sure what your second paragraph (first two sentences) refers to exactly, but if it's referencing #2, most posts are put up for the "close" facebook friends to see (I believe anyway). We tend to forget that everyone is watching. I'm guilty of that, too. I can only imagine what kind of impression my facebook post about posting left on people. This is meant for the young people that pour their heart out, confess their feelings frequently, and accuse the rest of the world that is out to get them incessantly. They probably won't read this, but maybe a caring adult will.
    As for the being honest, yeah...I agree. I'm going to mark your page up with red facebook marker. Just kidding.
    And I will do a blog on the small town talk. That sounds like a great topic. In relation to that, if people don't want people to talk about it in a small town, they shouldn't post it on facebook...that's like giving a dog a steak but trying to tell him he can't eat it. lol. I try to dispel negativity as much as possible (just ask my lady lunch group). Nothing good comes from spreading rumors. I'd rather ask the source than make my own assumptions.

    And, facebook really isn't that bad. I just like to write. Refer to my first post about being dramatic. ;)

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