Breaking the Silence...

Alrighty, I'm going to go there. Yep, I know. I really shouldn't. I should just keep my mouth shut and hope that everyone just learns one day on their own. If you read my previous posts, you know that I am all about positivity and being the change. I really think we all have the capability, the power, to change the world for the better. So, today, I am changing facebook. I know. It's a feat that may be even too grandiose for my meager blog post, but, hey, something is better than just complaining about it. I’d love to teach a course on it, but I don’t think it would draw the crowd that I imagine captivating in my mind.

So, what’s the issue worth blogging about when I haven’t posted in over a year? To sum it up, this message is direct toward those who seem to have no idea what sort of image they are portraying to the digital world with each horrid post (or like). Yes, I said horrid [insert screeching, knife-wielding-killer sound here]. As I read the posts in question, I cringe at what those who read it must think about the poster. Since these posters are on my “friend” list, it stands to reason that I do in fact know them personally, and they are good, decent people (would I friend anyone less?)…at least that’s how they portray themselves in person. Now, I’m not writing this post to judge others. I merely intend to educate those that haven’t thought about it before. Facebook is a political page (not that you are running for office, but if you are young, this could play a part in your future…you know…the documentation of every thought since 2004). You are marketing yourself.

The problem with facebook (or blogging ;D) is that we can say anything we want and never see or hear the repercussions. There are no consequences to our actual face on facebook. If you are on my friend list reading this blog post, you’re probably thinking, “I wonder if she is talking about me?” Probably not. Fortunately, it’s small crowd. However, I have devised a list by which you can check your facebook behavior for a variety of character fails. Please read with a sense of humor sprinkled throughout the entire list. The list isn’t meant to offend, but these are real comments pick up through random conversations since the dawn of facebook (changed a bit for humorous literary purposes):

1)   If your facebook post references illegal activity, you might give the impression that you engage in illegal activity. If you hope to have a job or the trust of friends and loved ones, this may throw a kink in the circle of trust.

2)   If your facebook post contains references that you think no one but your “friends” will understand, you realize that you have added 200+ friends and that they will all see it…not just the 3-6 that you intended. In a small town, this means that you’re 3-6 friends have interpreted the message for all the other friends by the comments they leave beneath the original post. The joke is no longer funny; it may just make you look silly or get you in trouble. And by silly, I mean that people are thinking “wtf” in their minds and not posting it on your page…but thinking it when they see you in person. How could I know this? Well, believe it or not, people talk in person about facebook and the accompanying posts, hence the knowledge behind this checklist. I’m an information gatherer. I can’t help it. The messages just stick. It’s up to me to make sense of the seemingly non-interconnected happenings.

3)   If your facebook post accuses others, you may give the impression that you are A) a female dog or B) the butt of a donkey (yep, I realize that my facebook post about facebook posts could have led to this assumption. I just didn’t know how else to get people to think about their posts. My apologies.) Even if the accused is wrong, there are very few circumstances where calling them out on facebook would do you any good. You may change your mind one day. It is too late if it’s on facebook. Never forgotten.

4)   If your facebook post accuses others of wrongdoing when you are clearly the wrong doer, you may give the impression that you are an idiot. I don’t even know how to sugarcoat this one. Likely, you may read this, and not get it. I am sorry. Even this blog can’t help. It’s not Obama’s, the cops, or aliens from another planet who are at fault, and the rest of facebook knows it…even if your post gets 40 likes, it just means you have 40 idiot friends. Again, my apologies. There is just no way to say it differently. But, I’m not judging here, I’m just educating on what kind of impression is being given. Perception is everything on facebook, and unfortunately, everyone perceives each post differently.

5)   If your facebook post is written with the intent to harm, defame, harass, taunt, or get revenge, you may give the impression that you harm, defame, harass, taunt, or get revenge on those that cross you. If this is what you are going for, great. If you would like to keep your friends (the ones you talk to in person), this is not a good idea. You’re facebook friends will keep you for a good conversation piece (seriously). You’re real friends may become busy all of a sudden.

6)   If your facebook post is screaming for attention, you may get attention…just not the kind you want. I think each person can change the world, but you are not going to change the way people think by posting crude pics or questionable comments. Most people just want to keep up on recent events, funny happenings, and other’s lives’ in general. This is not your avenue to get famous. Keep your clothes on, your sex behind closed doors, and anything raunchy off your page. Once it is out there, it is out there forever…somewhere. You may actually regret that post one day…like when your own children wonder what the heck you were thinking, or when a prospective employer doesn’t hire you, or when your blind date creeps on your facebook page to see what kind of person you are…

Alright, I could go on, but I’ll save them for later. Hopefully, the list above didn’t insight anger. In general, if you would say your post to your mom, dad, boss, or a teacher, you are probably posting in an acceptable manner. If, however, you have to question whether or not any of the parties listed would be offended or shocked, it’s probably not in your best interest.

You see, facebook is a political page. It’s a way to market yourself. If you made a poster of your facebook posts with your smiling mug dead center, would that be the poster you would want to hand to your mother? Your teacher? Your boyfriend/girlfriend? Your husband/wife/child? Your employer? What does your page say about you? Funny? Quirky? Kind? Considerate? Caring? Loyal? Or maybe pessimistic? Angry? Bias? Crabby? Unaware? Rude?

Yep, your face-to-face friends know who you truly are, and they don’t judge you (if you’re over 24ish…sorry youngin’s…just the way the brain is wired, but don’t worry…it’s an average). However, the 200+ friends that like to keep updated on your life that rarely hold a conversation with you in person are judging your character by your facebook posts. Each post tells them just a little bit more about you. If it’s not clear, it’s left to interpretation. If it is clear, are you sure that’s what you want to say? 

CHOICES

Someone (ok…a couple people) once told me I like drama. Of course, on the defensive, I was puzzled at how I could come across as such. My love of movies can’t be that obvious, and clearly I do not engage in drama…like real life drama. As my life, thoughts, and words flashed before me in an effort to find the answer to why I could be associated with a love for drama, I realized something.

Choices. I realized that I believe in the power of choices. Positive or negative, it doesn’t matter, but choices. Human beings are God’s (or whatever your personal belief is) greatest creation. Equipped with the power to choose our destination no matter what our circumstances. Choices. Our life journey’s will no doubt be different; some with a really bumpy path and some with a seemingly pleasant ride. Either way, we have the power to choose where our lives could take us. We'll never know the reality behind the choices others make, but we can make the best choices for ourselves. (a good topic for another post...how we judge others!)

Words. I realized that I believe in the power of words. If no one ever tells you, how will you know? How will you get affirmation that you are creative, considerate, worthy, lovely, loved, intelligent, beautiful, strong, and capable if no one ever tells you? On the flip side, what if no one ever tells you about the booger in your nose or the toilet paper on your shoe or the choice that could have consequences you may not be ready for?

Respect. I’ve always believed in respect, but I realized how life-changing respect can be. Respect is one gift everyone should give and receive at all times. It has the power build a person from the inside and project its contagious self outward in an effort to “pay it forward.”

Choices, words, and respect. Three things that bring frustration, sadness, surprise, happiness, excitement, doubt, questions, relief, regret, guilt, enthusiasm, encouragement, and every other emotion to our lives. Three things that have the power to boost us up the steepest mountain or drag us down a rocky cliff.

So, in short, I’m not dramatic (minus the dragging down a cliff’s side). I just believe that choices and words and respect can make a difference in the world.

For instance…

What if (and my dad always said we don’t live on “what ifs”, but it applies here)…What if one didn’t know there was another choice or know the abilities and capabilities that lie within them or know how to give and earn respect?

On the other hand…

WHAT IF all it took was a few words…a few words of encouragement, guidance, research, statistics, moral compassing, or questioning to make one examine the choices that lie ahead. WHAT IF all it took was someone to say, “You can”, “You will”, “You’re amazing”? WHAT IF all it took was living and breathing and believing that choices and words and respect really could change the world one person at a time?

So, again, I’m not dramatic. I don’t look for drama, and it doesn’t find me. Rather, I’m willing to take a metaphorical punch if it means someone else will benefit. If it means someone else will go through life thinking about the choices they make before they act instead of as an afterthought, I can handle being called dramatic. If it means butting my nose in to offer words of encouragement (or discouragement…sometimes it’s warranted), I can handle being called dramatic. If it means getting all the details before I make a life-changing choice or giving details before someone else does, I can handle being called dramatic.

So, maybe people say I’m dramatic. I’m O.K. with that.

So It Begins...

So, I've been talking for quite some time about starting my own blog, radio show, TV show, speaking tour, or pretty much any venue to spread positive words and encouragement and advice (or whatever else is on my mind ;). I think about things that I want to say everyday, playing scripts over and over in my mind. Things that I know others are thinking, but just not saying. Questions I know other people want to ask about the world we live in, but don't know how. Issues that don't get enough attention that could use publicity. I wish I would have started a list of topics!

Before delving into life's challenges and the power of positive-ness, a little background on why you may have made it to paragraph two...

I was fortunate to grow up in a supportive family. My little sister and I were told we could do anything, be anything, create anything, and fix anything that our wild imaginations desired in life. We were on the front end of the "Y" generation where grandiose dreams and chasing life's desires were encouraged. No dream was too much. No dream was criticized. Everything was possible.

As a child, those words of support and encouragement sometimes seemed just that...words. The words didn't seem to do things, be things, create things, or fix things on their own. But you know how when something is said often enough, it just sticks? Over time, they just stuck. My family knew the power of words and support long before I came along.

After some life changing events (I'll get to those in time), I found my DREAM job in the field of teaching. From the moment I entered my own classroom, I realized the power of the spoken word, the effect one person can have on the lives of others, and the means to CHANGE THE WORLD.

Fast forward a bit to about May 2008. I was shopping with a group of ladies in a cute outdoor mall. I found this quirky store with tons of random office supplies, pranks, silly notepads, odd kitchen supplies, and just about everything my nerd mind could imagine. It was fabulous! As I was perusing the greeting card section (who doesn’t like to read short thoughts recorded on paper with an accompanying cartoon), I found one card that stood out. It said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world. ~ Gandhi."

Those words latched on to my brain like the most positive parasite imaginable, and I haven’t stopped thinking about them since that moment. In fact, I had the saying printed on one of those fancy schmancy custom made stickers and plastered it across the front of my desk. I also really want it emblazoned forever in tattoo form. Crazy? Maybe. Not as crazy as one of my ideas to teach beyond my living years (I’ll explain that another time). But what a powerful statement. How often are we quick to criticize or complain? How often do we actually do something to change those things that aren’t working? Instead of complaining and not doing anything, BE that change. BE nice. BE kind. BE considerate. BE respectful. BE resourceful. BE assertive. BE encouraging. BE the one stands up first. BE a role model. BE a good example. BE a productive citizen. BE a voter. BE a recycler. BE concerned. BE informed. Just BE whatever it is you wish to change. One may face obstacles and opponents, but that’s what comes with any amount of change.

So, that brings me to today. I’ve been talking about writing for quite some time. Will people read my crazy views on life? Not sure. Will I at least be doing something to change the world? Most definitely. J

Stay tuned…